Inspired from the BBC series Jonathan Creek, watch it, its good.
Also introducing the longest named artical in this wiki ive seen so far!
He already is out of his comfort zone, the store. He always hated it, too many people. No-one bothers to look where they are going. Always stepping on him. But being roughly the same size of a coffee mug can do that to you. But still, everyone always rushes around the place, it's not like whatever they want is gonna disappear in their hands. Or going to be less attractive by the time they get home. And the prices where odd, who would pay $5 for bottled water when its free from the tap? Normally he ordered his food from a catalogue company, once a month, every month. To avoid people. He would always order 4 weeks and a day supply. Because they will always arrive a day late. 30 day delivery my ass. It's not like he has allot of choice, how much food would he be able to carry? One nut? He was sick of them any ways.
But today chocolate cravings kicked-in. And he wanted one, at all costs.
Amongst all the turmoil, at the cash register stood Simon lake, a very unique type of chipmunk. His mind was far greater than most humans. He had an act for understanding every little detail you probably would look past. He could read people like books you would normally find in a kinder garden. He could solve almost impossible conundrums with little evidence to back his answer. Those amazing tricks magicians perform in front of millions were simple to understand after Simon Lake explains them, probably because he was the one who designed them. And he could talk. He was standing on the edge of the conveyer belt, resting his head on the oversized chocolate bar he snatched from the land beyond the trembling feet. He was staring blankly at the woman in front of him, counting under his breath.
"That will be $57.45, thanks" said the lady at the register with a forced smile. "No" exclaimed Simon. "Its $57.27, that's what I got". Both of the woman showed a confused look. "don't worry about him," the lady at the redigested gave Simon a sharp look. "there's always some smart-ass around the place".
"you must have some faulty software or is just old, have you tried resetting it?" continued Simon ignoring the woman's remarks. "yeah, like I said. $57.45" said register lady. "wait" interrupted the woman who was buying the food in a thick Russian accent. "let's, try it again".
In a few moments, the store manger came to the infamous register and with a calculator began to calculate the items. The people in the queue became irritated. When to their surprise the manager rose his head and said "he's right, we'll have to close it down" Simon gave himself a pleased look with his furry face and watched happily as the manager put up a 'closed' sign on the till.
As the angry shoppers shuffled away, Simon gave the Russian woman a smile and said to the register lady, squinting at her name tag. "nice shopping here, R..Rosie" and scampered off.
As Simon Lake walked out of hauling his large chocolate bar behind him. Then Simon saw another thing he hated more than shops. Crowds. He heavily wondered what would require that much attention. Dare he venture yonder to see to what would unfold?
Yes. As much as he hated crowds, his love for a mystery over powered that.
The market outside the shop was an unforgiving wasteland of tacky merchandise and old people, but he must conquer his fear of the elderly, bypass the disgusting smell of mixed perfume and dash pass the bull dog that had been eying him the whole time, to unravel the mystery involving the group. Simon Lake ungracefully waltzed over to the eye sore and manoeuvred under the twitchy forest of legs, but fortunately didn't touch anyone over the age of 40. Otherwise he'd have to wash himself with bi-carb and lemon juice again.
The dog had a nasty try at catching his tail and missed buy a fluff, still hugging his chocolate bar, Simon jumped for safety into the thickness of the crowd.
When he emerged from the seemingly endless limbs, he saw a full grown man with a camera lodged in his face. It seemed to be that he was arguing with..a...chipmunk. The chipmunks was slightly smaller that Simon with blonde hair in two pig tails, it was pretty obvious that is was a girl. She was wearing a green dress with a black suit-jacket on it. Simon had heard of other chipmunks like him, but he never bothered to find them.
I can't believe what I'm hearing!" shouted the increasingly angry man. "well we have reports that several of your customers that the products that they brought from you where faulty, and not what you said they were" said the calm green-black costume wearing creature.
They seemed to be having a argument over some antique tables and chairs. By the looks of the girl, the fact she was dressed sharply, was calm in her voice and her well rehearsed script. Simon thought that she probably be some form of journalist. Or maybe the massive camera crew, boom stick and van that said NEWS on the side of it that gave it away. In-between the loud talking of the two gladiators going head to head, the murmurs of the crowd and the camera guy saying "we're going to have to edit that out" every time the human swore. Which was allot. Simon Lake managed to gather that the 'antiques' aren't actually 'antiques'. And are in fact, what they say in the industry as 'fakes', or 'bloody rip-offs'.
"but all of that stuffs condition, it's pretty obvious that is fake" explained the now stuttering critter. "prove it" said the smug human, smuggaly crossing his hands in a smug manner. The woodland animal seemed to be frozen, she had no-idea how to 'prove-it'. 'Hey' said a whimsical voice from the crowd. 'why don't you get him to prove it?'
Simon slowly turned to see that it was her, Rosie from the register, pointing at Simon. He gave a evil look at he and curled up one half of his lip. She returned the gesture.
Everyone was quite, all looking at Simon. This is why he hates crowds.
He looked left and right to find some way out of it. All he could see was the other chipmunk and the man looking at him. And the other side was void of hair, skin, dresses, pants and worn out smelly shoes. Upon gazing into oblivion he saw and old wrinkled leg, there was no way he was going back. "alright" he splurged out nervously "let's do this" he gave his chocolate bar to the inquisitive mammal. "don't lose this, I've been through hell to get it"
He adjusted his brown jacket, blue top and glasses and slowly moved his way over to the accused wood.